Snow

Rabu, 23 April 2014

Man Vs Women. Who’s The Boss??

            Man and Women are always have a different roles in the family activity. As a rule, that father (man) is the leader of a family, we should be obey on his order. But that’s posibility to mother (women) rather be the most controling every interaction of the family. And more often mother has a dominance to what she said we should follow. Because mother is always being dominant, we are as the children cannot disobey on her order. However, mother bears the pains of childbirth. We owe more to our mothers, so must be at their service more than our fathers. Our mothers play a big roles in our life. They are our teachers from the time of our birth. They not only go through the pain of bearing us for 9 months, childbirth, and also the pain of breastfeeding, looking after the baby, and taking all the responsibilities at once (that includes taking care of her husband too), they provide us with emotional intelligence and comfort as well as security.
            Based on Hadith Moesleem that  mentioned a conversation, one of Prophet (SAW)'s disciple asked :  “Who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand?” 
The Prophet (SAW) replied: “Your mother”
He again said: “Then who?” 
Prophet (SAW) said : “Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you)”
He said: “Then who?”
The Prophet said: “Again, it is your mother”
He (again) said: “Then who?”
Thereupon the Prophet said: “Then it is your father”
Mom, mom, mom, then dad. It is based on the famous Hadith of the Prophet. Mothers tend to look out for the best interest of the child while the father looks out for the job/himself. In a Hadith also mentioned, “Paradise lies beneath your mother's feet”. That means, by assisting your mother, you are very likely to go to Janah(Paradise). But if you upset her, you are very likely to go to Jahanum(Hell).
            In other hand, father also provide us with financial support. As well, he take responsibility to guard, trained, and guaranty all of his wife and his children's sins. Man (father) 's leadership are not authoritarian leadership, but more likely a leading to improve mistaken of his family. In the Al-Quran Qs. Annisa ’34 said that : Man is the leader of women, because Allah has preferred some of them (men) over others (women) and because they give charity of  their wealth. The verse clearly and unequivocally shows that the male is the leader for women. And God created man in posture body shape and the properties that can be made means to be a leader. Because leadership requires a sense maximally efficient used and need strong stamina body, especially when he face of obstacles and constraints, and when solving various problems are quite complex.
            Man are choosen to be a leader of women and family in the universal. Because womens behavior that has a gentle, easy worried, sensitive character. She beared, nurse and taking care of children, that’s imposible and irrelevant for them to have given a burden of family leadership. This explanation, some people called “nature (God's will)”, that is a theory that considers the different functions and roles of men and women is caused by natural differences wich is reflected in the differences of biologist anatomy both of the creature. This teory have got a lot of criticism, especially by Karl Max because misunderstanding concept said that differences role is identically to oppression and discrimination. Whereas, Al Qur'an when differentiating these tasks isn’t purposed to do that such a thing, and even after the fact practiced by it terms, the oppression and discrimination that being feared was never exist. Information below can explain the problem.
"Qowwam" according to Imam Qurtubi means to do something and take responsibility for it by the way to investigate and keep it with sincerity. Then the responsibility of men to women in these limits. That is, with caring, educating and maintaining her inside the home and forbade her to go out (without any purpose).
            J.C. Mosse had stated that the pattern of gender relations which is describe in the Al Qur'an, where man handled the responsibility of family, have resemble across to the northern hemisphere, including Europe and America. Moreover, according to the concept of family in Greek and Roman tradition, the leader of family are held by men.
            The comparison of two statement above are shown that both of woman and men have the same roles wich is significant. Men as father, leads his family with all of his patient, and conferences. He guard, trained, and maintained his family while woman as mother that bossy character has her tasks to managed her family, give education and taking care her children and her husband too.
            I think that is reasonable for us to be more respected to our parents, doesn’t matter who deserve more or who better to be a leader. We owe our lives because they have given all we needed. In the universal context, man and women also have the same position if they’re lead each other. Women usually has a bossy character because she wanted more attention and man given all of women’s wanted based of good yield character to get love and peace.