Man
and Women are always have a different roles in the family activity. As a rule,
that father (man) is the leader of a family, we should be obey on his order.
But that’s posibility to mother (women) rather be the most controling every
interaction of the family. And more often mother has a dominance to what she
said we should follow. Because mother is always being dominant, we are as the
children cannot disobey on her order. However, mother bears the pains of childbirth. We owe more to our mothers, so must be at
their service more than our fathers. Our mothers play a big roles in our life.
They are our teachers from the time of our birth. They not only go through the
pain of bearing us for 9 months, childbirth, and also the pain of
breastfeeding, looking after the baby, and taking all the responsibilities at
once (that includes taking care of her husband too), they provide us with
emotional intelligence and comfort as well as security.
Based on Hadith Moesleem that mentioned a conversation, one of Prophet (SAW)'s
disciple asked : “Who among the people
is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand?”
The Prophet (SAW) replied: “Your mother”
He again said: “Then who?”
Prophet (SAW) said : “Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you)”
He said: “Then who?”
The Prophet said: “Again, it is your mother”
He (again) said: “Then who?”
Thereupon the Prophet said: “Then it is your father”
The Prophet (SAW) replied: “Your mother”
He again said: “Then who?”
Prophet (SAW) said : “Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you)”
He said: “Then who?”
The Prophet said: “Again, it is your mother”
He (again) said: “Then who?”
Thereupon the Prophet said: “Then it is your father”
Mom, mom, mom, then dad.
It is based on the famous Hadith of the Prophet. Mothers tend to look out for
the best interest of the child while the father looks out for the job/himself.
In a Hadith also mentioned, “Paradise lies beneath your mother's feet”. That
means, by assisting your mother, you are very likely to go to Janah(Paradise).
But if you upset her, you are very likely to go to Jahanum(Hell).
In other hand, father also provide us with financial
support. As well, he take responsibility to guard, trained, and guaranty all of
his wife and his children's sins. Man (father) 's leadership are not
authoritarian leadership, but more likely a leading to improve mistaken of his
family. In the Al-Quran Qs. Annisa ’34 said that : Man is the leader of women,
because Allah has preferred some of them (men) over others (women) and because
they give charity of their wealth. The
verse clearly and unequivocally shows that the male is the leader for women.
And God created man in posture body shape and the properties that can be made
means to be a leader. Because leadership requires a sense maximally efficient
used and need strong stamina body, especially when he face of obstacles and
constraints, and when solving various problems are quite complex.
Man are choosen to be a leader of women and family in the
universal. Because womens behavior that has a gentle, easy worried, sensitive
character. She beared, nurse and taking care of children, that’s imposible and irrelevant
for them to have given a burden of family leadership. This explanation, some
people called “nature (God's will)”, that is a theory that considers the
different functions and roles of men and women is caused by natural differences
wich is reflected in the differences of biologist anatomy both of the creature.
This teory have got a lot of criticism, especially by Karl Max because
misunderstanding concept said that differences role is identically to oppression
and discrimination. Whereas, Al Qur'an when differentiating these tasks isn’t
purposed to do that such a thing, and even after the fact practiced by it
terms, the oppression and discrimination that being feared was never exist. Information
below can explain the problem.
"Qowwam"
according to Imam Qurtubi means to do something and take responsibility for it
by the way to investigate and keep it with sincerity. Then the responsibility
of men to women in these limits. That is, with caring, educating and maintaining
her inside the home and forbade her to go out (without any purpose).
J.C. Mosse had stated that the pattern of gender
relations which is describe in the Al Qur'an, where man handled the
responsibility of family, have resemble across to the northern hemisphere, including
Europe and America. Moreover, according to the concept of family in Greek and
Roman tradition, the leader of family are held by men.
The comparison of two statement above are shown that both
of woman and men have the same roles wich is significant. Men as father, leads
his family with all of his patient, and conferences. He guard, trained, and
maintained his family while woman as mother that bossy character has her tasks
to managed her family, give education and taking care her children and her
husband too.
I think that is reasonable for us to be more respected to
our parents, doesn’t matter who deserve more or who better to be a leader. We
owe our lives because they have given all we needed. In the universal context,
man and women also have the same position if they’re lead each other. Women
usually has a bossy character because she wanted more attention and man given
all of women’s wanted based of good yield character to get love and peace.
